New year's resolution

I'm not very goal oriented. Never was. I've always just kinda drifted on the small stuff and thought the big stuff was self-explanatory. So I never paid much attention to New Years resolutions. Then I got religion about weight loss and goals were all I could think about. I set them. I reset them. I made them for food intake. I made them for pounds a week (month, quarter, year). I made them for exercise. I joined groups to discuss them, occasionally, very occasionally I reached them. (oneunder is the big one in my weight range 199 being the magic number.)

As it turns out I, i actually seem to do better with To Do Lists. They are kinda the same. You have to accomplish something. But then you get to cross it off the list, not reassess and reset it. Crossing off is much more satisfying. But it is the New Year, and New Year's To Do List just doesn't have the same ring. So I set a goal.

I'm not exactly sure what it means. You have to live life before you hit the ground or melt? or get made into a snowball or plowed out of the way? Or are we all unique individuals are just drifting at the mercy of the winds?

I stole it from Dr Charles http://scienceblogs.com/drcharles/

go ask him what it means!

Whatever, it's pretty!

Happy New Year!

it's offical, my life is over

my mother fell and broke her arm, the neck of the humorus just below the shoulder. no way to cast it, just a sling for 6-8 weeks. i spent the first week at her house, did laundry, dishes, gave a couple of baths and a shampoo, cleaned the littler box and picked up the misses and the cat vomit. then got to come home and just go over there a couple of times a day. and then came 4 nights of work. i've brought meals, stamps, groceries, big shirts to fix over an arm in a sling, kitty litter, a pine cone wreath, and an ice bag. all for mum. i've bought 2 christmas gifts on line. that's the extend of my christmas preparations. now i'm going to work 3 nights, have company all next week and then work 4 nights including christmas eve and christmas. all while going over to mum's once or twice a day. all the while her asking if i've quilted the baby quilt yet. ahh...no, i slept instead.

oh and her stay in with my brother over christmas is off. instead, they are coming over here, maybe, maybe on christmas, for the day. i'm betting i get to clean her apartment before they come.

i know how whinning and petty this all sounds. it could have been much much worse. this is why i wanted to move her up there. this would have been a total fiasco if she were still in arizona. but between taking care of her and mary's total breakdown, i feel overwhelmed, like i don't have a moment for myself. and when i do, all i can do is stare at the tv or sleep. my eating is completely out of control. i have no idea how much i've gained but my pants are tight again. mum gets vicodan, mary gets to go nonfunctional, but i still have to be the grownup. i want someone to take care of me for a change.

oh, and did i mention, after 4 facet blocks, my back pain is back.

snowflakes

this didn't come like like i planned, not that is unusual. it just really out of whack with my mental picture of it. and the image is waaay too big. my editing skills are pretty primative.